i could get lost in a voice like yours

"I don’t want to love you anymore. I’m sick of hurting over you. I’m sick of being..."

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:55:19 -0500

“I don’t want to love you anymore. I’m sick of hurting over you. I’m sick of being your back-up plan. I’m sick of only being good enough when no one else is around. I’m sick of you using me to heal yourself. I’m just plain sick of everything that makes you, you.”

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing..."

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:43:57 -0500

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

- Audrey Hepburn (via quote-book)

"I have another scenario for you - I’m in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as..."

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:26:31 -0500

“I have another scenario for you - I’m in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I’m in love… with YOU. I’m not feeling this because you’re leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way… which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can’t figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you. I can’t believe how many times I’m saying it! And I never thought I’d feel this way again, so that’s pretty phenomenal. And I realize that I come as a package deal: 3 for the price of 1. I know my package, perhaps in the light of day, isn’t all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want and that, in itself, is a miracle. And what I want is YOU.”

- The Holiday (via kari-shma)

"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving..."

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:02:30 -0500

““There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.””

story of my life...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 08:43:09 -0500

crushes:

you,

i like when we sit next to each other and your leg fits perfectly against mine. i like when our feet bump and we don’t apologize. i like this comfort. i like this closeness. i like you.

— me

i'm unstoppable.

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:57:09 -0500

you can talk all you want but my skin is really thick. i’m the leader of the crowd and my game is really slick.

College

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:32:05 -0400

i really don’t understand how time has gone by so fast and i’m already at pace university looking at the campus and going to some classes to think about even coming here. i’m about to graduate high school and go back to college. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING! i’m about to cry, haha.

this is really happening, i’m getting my liscense and i’m going off to college. my future is going to bright and no one’s stopping me. <3333

Bold the things that are true.

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 09:40:23 -0400

I am a cuddler
I am a morning person
I am a perfectionist
I am a night person
I am an only child
I am Catholic
I am currently in my pajamas

I am currently suffering from a broken heart
I am okay at styling other people’s hair
I am left handed
I am addicted to my myspace
I am very shy around the opposite gender
I bite my nails
I can be paranoid at times
I currently regret something that I have said
When I get mad I curse frequently
I like someone
I enjoy jazz music
I enjoy smoothies
I enjoy talking on the phone
I have a pet
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
I have a tendency to fall for the wrong person
I have all my grandparents
I have at least one sibling
I have been told that I am smart
I have broken a bone
I have Caller I.D. on my phone
I have bathed/showered with someone
I have changed a diaper
I have changed a lot over the past year
I have done something illegal
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair
I have had surgery
I have killed another person
I have had my hair cut within the last week
I have had the cops called on me
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t
I have held hands with someone who wasn’t my boyfriend/girlfriend
I have loved someone
I have danced around naked

“It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should...

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:52:19 -0400

“It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love.”

But I was sure of something, too: its a lot easier to be lost than found. Its the reason we’re...

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:51:58 -0400

But I was sure of something, too: its a lot easier to be lost than found. Its the reason we’re always searching, and rarely discover.

"And in the freefall I will realize I'm better off when I hit the bottom."

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 08:37:43 -0400

I haven’t updated in years.. I’m officially an upperclassmen at IHA. I’m kind of scared, yet really really excited. This year has started of really good, I just can’t believe that I’m turning 17 soon. EW! haha I want to stay young forever.

My best friend’s birthday is on Sunday and I’m throwing her a surprise birthday dinner. I’m really excited for it because honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Oh and I get to go see So You Think You Can Dance on Thursday, I’m honestly dying right now. I cannot wait!<3333

okay gotta go write notes now, byeeee :)

You used to treat me like I was special. Now you’ve found someone else and she gets to be the...

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 01:50:41 -0400

You used to treat me like I was special. Now you’ve found someone else and she gets to be the special one. You can’t just throw me out of your mind. It doesn’t work like that. Besides, what are you going to do when whatever you have with this someone ends? Because it will. You’re just to blind to see that right now. But when it ends, I won’t be there to help pick up the pieces for you. You’ll have to do it all by yourself and you haven’t been alone in such a long time. And at that second when you and her fall apart…you’ll wish you would’ve never let me go.

Maybe I wasn’t asking you to love me, maybe I was asking you to understand, because for so long I’ve...

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 01:34:35 -0400

Maybe I wasn’t asking you to love me, maybe I was asking you to understand, because for so long I’ve been hurt and for so long you’ve ignored it, and maybe it is bad timing, but maybe, I don’t care. I’ve been here all along just waiting, waiting for you to notice, waiting for you to care. Waiting for you to say that you’ve been waiting too, and you haven’t and maybe you never will or maybe you’re afraid to. But it all hurts the same, and in the end, I’m the one that’s left broken and when I lay down to sleep, I’m still the one crying, so screw the bad timing. I’ve loved you then, like I love you now, like I probably always will.

I don’t know what to say to you. You mean the world to me. And you know it’s true, one day you make...

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 01:32:04 -0400

I don’t know what to say to you. You mean the world to me. And you know it’s true, one day you make me feel like a million dollars and the next like dog shit on the bottom of your shoe. You make me smile, laugh and sing, at the same time you make me cry and scream. I don’t know why you do this to me, and I really don’t know why I let you do this to me. I guess it’s because every time I start to lose hope you give it back to me, you make me think there is a chance again. If you asked me today what is tomorrow going to be like, I would tell you that there would be no more you and me, that I was not going to take your crap and let you walk all over me. Then tomorrow comes, and you give me one look, you know that look, the one that makes me melt right there and I have hope again. This happens again, and again. At first I thought it was all your fault, but now I know it’s mine. The only thing you’re doing to me is being my friend, I should take it as that, friends are better than nothing. Then you hug me, or tell me a joke and I know we are meant to be. So I don’t care how many times this happens, I really don’t care cause I love you, and all that is important to me is us being together. And I know that right now you don’t see it. But someday you will, and it’ll be great! But for now, if I’m your lover, or just your friend I’ll be here for you no matter what. You can count on me.

Something always brings me back to youIt never takes too longNo matter what I say or doI still feel...

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:09:38 -0400

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I still feel you here ‘til the moment I’m gone

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be
I don’t wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I’m just the way I’m supposed to be
But you’re on to me and all over me

You loved me ‘cause I’m fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be
I don’t wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I’m just the way I’m supposed to be
But you’re on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you’re everything I think I need
Here on the ground

But you’re neither friend nor foe
Though I can’t seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know
Is that you’re keeping me down
You’re keeping me down

You’re on to me, on to me and all over
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long

"if we chase the stars to lose our shadows. peter pan and wendy turned out fine. so won’t you..."

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 14:52:03 -0400

“if we chase the stars to lose our shadows. peter pan and wendy turned out fine. so won’t you fly with me?”

"Men are like a deck of cards. You’ll find the occasional king, but most are jacks."

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 17:10:28 -0400

“Men are like a deck of cards. You’ll find the occasional king, but most are jacks.”

And I tore you out of my heart..

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:15:54 -0400

How did you get here under my skin? I swore I would never let you back in.
There’s something about you thats so addictive.

I’m so done pretending that I’m okay, because clearly I’m not. You broke my heart, there’s no other way I can possibly say it. You hurt me and you didn’t care. Want to know what really bothers me? Is the fact that you told me you cared for me more than anything and that I was the one person that you ALWAYS came back to. What I just realized is that I was the idiot for letting you come back to me. But not anymore. This time I’ve had enough. No matter what you tell me, you better believe that no one will put up with your shit the way I did. NO ONE will like you as much or for as long as I did. You might think that you’ve got it all planned out and you’re the winner, but baby, in fact I’ve won. One day, you might look back and realize, just maybe, that you made a mistake and that you shouldn’t have ever let me go. You might regret that night that you had a chance to fix everything.. and you didn’t. But hopefully, one day you’ll see me walking hand in hand with a smile on my face and a boy right next to me with an even bigger smile because he knows he has my heart and he would never do anything to hurt me. You’re going to regret letting me go, but he’ll be thanking you. And I’m thanking you now.

You’ve made me stronger. For three years, I’ve tried to make us be an “us”. But all I’m left with is a broken heart and a tear stricken face.

I’m ignoring your calls and I’m erasing every inch of our memories from my mind.. AND I’ve torn you out of my heart… for good.

NYC on thursday.

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:02:29 -0400

Even though, I live like 5 minutes away from NYC, I still get so excited when I get to go to NY :)

Stole this from Mariel :)

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:06:18 -0400

STEP ONE:

Spell your name with songs.

L: lost
A: all again for you
U: use somebody
R: reverse this curse
E: everything is alright
N: not a second to waste

spell your last name with bands

G: Gym Class Heroes
A: A Rocket to the Moon
R: Relient K
C: the Cab
I: I don’t know
A: Avenged Sevenfold

STEP TWO:
– Name: lauren
– Birth date: march 4th
– Nickname: laur
– Eye Color: blue/green
– Hair Color: dirty blonde
– Zodiac Sign: pisces

STEP THREE:
–The shoes you wore today: black flats
– Your weaknesses: this boy
– Your fear(s): death, thunder, failure
– Your perfect pizza: CHEESE
– Goal you’d like to achieve: EVERYTHING

STEP FOUR:
– Your best physical feature: i like my eyes, but you tell me :)
– Your bedtime? …
– Most missed memory?: 8th grade

STEP FIVE:
This Or That
– Pepsi or Coke? coke
– McDonald’s or Burger King: Burger King..
– Adidas or Nike: neither
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: arizona & snapple
– Chocolate or Vanilla: I HATE CHOCOLATE
– Cappuccino or coffee: white chocolate mocha :)

STEP SIX:
Do You…
– Smoke: mm, NO
– Curse: fuck no
– Sing: eh, when i want
– Dance: yes, its a life style
– Take a shower everyday: duhh
– Want to go to college: yes.. forensic chemistry
– Like(d) high school: at times..
– Want to get married: eh.. boys are usually the main problems of my life
– Get motion sickness: sometimes
– Think you’re attractive: nope
– Think you’re a health freak: haha, funny.
– Get along with your parents: … most of the time

STEP SEVEN:
In the past month…
– Gone to the mall: yes?
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos: NO
– Eaten Sushi: yes
– Been on stage: yep
– Gone skating: NO
– Made homemade cookies: mhmm(:
– Gone Skinny dipping: no :( haha
– Stolen anything: nope

STEP EIGHT:
Ever…
– Played a game that required removal of clothing: not that i recall
- Flashed anyone: … haha
– Been beaten up: HAHA, yea right
– Shoplifted: yes

STEP NINE:
– Age you hope to be married: mid 20s
– Numbers of Children: two
– Describe your Dream Wedding: i chose not to have dreams because they’re usually crushed.
– What country would you most like to visit? cuba

STEP TEN:
In the opposite sex..
– Best eye color?: idc
– Best hair color?: depends
– Short hair or long hair?: depends on the person
– Height: just taller than me & thats most guys ahaha

STEP ELEVEN:
– Number of people I could trust with my life: a few, actually
– Number of CDs that I own: ALOT
– Number of tattoos: 0, :(
– Number of piercings: 2

Personal Quiz
Who were you with yesterday? a ton of family and friends, i was @ a wake
What woke you up this morning? my mother, i had to go to a funeral
Where are you? my bedroom
Is tomorrow going to be a good day? maybe, if i go shopping

THE PAST
Ever thrown up in public? yes, but just cause i was extremely sick
Passed out because of alcohol? no? i don’t drink
What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW? a certain someone.
Why? he has me going crazy and he’s got me feeling a thousand different things all at once and it sucks.

THE FUTURE
What kind of home would you like? in california or in florida, a house right by the beach
What do you want to be when you grow up? a forensic chemist for the FBI
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? hopefully in europe.

IN GENERAL
Do you like candy necklaces? YES
When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? today..
Do you listen to music every day? YES!
Do you still go trick or treating? of coursee
What was the last thing you ate? baked ziti
Are you a fast typer? yes, i basically live on my computer and my blackberry
Whats your favorite type of soda? depends my mood
Have you ever moved? yep, once
Have you ever won an award? yes plenty
Are you listening to music right now? watching an old school mary kate and ashley olsen movie
How long ’till your birthday? 8 months :(
When were you the saddest in your whole life? this whole month has been made up of let downs, disappointments and heart breaks.
What time is it? 5:02
Do you use ebay to buy or sell? nope.
Who makes you mad? certain people.
Something you want to happen in 2009? nothing 2009 has sucked.
Summer 2009? it started and it sucks.
Honestly, do you miss 2008? yes, a lil

HONESTY SECTION
1. Honestly, what color is your underwear? black
2. Honestly, whats on your mind? some asshole
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now? on my computer, talking to friends, and watching tv
6. Honestly, have you done something bad today? no..
8. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone? my mother
9. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? nope.
10. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time? haha everyone
11. Honestly, do you bite your nails? nope
13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment? yes..
14. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret now? uhm?
15. Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like? no, because i’m not like that.
17. Honestly, are you in denial? no? ahaha
18. Honestly, do you get up in the middle of the night and eat? no
19. Honestly, do you like anyone? yes
20. Honestly, does anyone like you? idc if he still does or not.

ANGER SECTION

1. What do you do when you’re mad? call my best friends and vent and cry and cry some more.
2. What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? i don’t even know…
3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad? myself
4. Do you swear when you’re mad? YES, constantly

CRYING SECTION
1. When was the last time you actually cried? YESTERDAY..
2. Ever cried yourself to sleep? yes, i have every night this month
3. Do certain songs make you cry? yes..
4. What usually makes you cry? him